Sacred Listening: Reflections on the ACPE Annual Conference

 We communed at the 2023 ACPE Annual Conference after years of COVID keeping us at a distance. Despite all the excitement, deep sorrow and pain pervaded our time together. This year we made significant changes to our learning outcomes, evaluated Certification, and wondered about the future of ACPE. The grief many of us felt at the conference is a heavy burden affecting our ability to connect with others and see beyond our experiences. When working to become an anti-bias organization, grief can dim our vision and makes it difficult to recognize, trust, and learn from the authentic experiences of others.

This reflection is dedicated to CE Christopher Brown, with whom I did not get enough time. Chris' presence and laughter left us better than when he found us. As a black millennial neurodiverse female educator in training, it is important to me to be creative in grief; We can embrace this as a shared value. The unexpected passing of CE Christopher Brown weighed heavily on the hearts and souls of those who knew him. Chris embodied what it meant to be enthusiastic and boldly live into his authentic self. He loved people out loud and taught us the importance of fun and friendship. With Chris in mind, I acknowledge the connection of our common humanity and our shared grief as a beloved community, not taking relationships for granted.

When we grapple with change, we risk overlooking people and relationships. We may become unable to see and hear the other, instead relying on our individual experiences, including our sense of power and individuality. When grief is our priority lens, it can prevent us from growing culturally competent and obstruct connection. For example, we heard from The Rev. Dr. Theresa S. Thames during the conference. Dr. Thames shared from a Christian perspective on the ethical and moral dilemmas facing care providers in the hospital context.

Out of my own experience and needs, I struggled with the contextual experience of the commencement wisdom; others may have experienced even deeper struggles to connect. While Dr. Thames integrated her experience as a Christian in her remarks, the fullness of her identity and lived experience is not captured by this one social identity. Another perspective I honor is the intersectionality of her identities as a Black, queer woman in higher education. ACPE provided a platform for us to be led by an underrepresented and unheard community, to inspire us as an organization to be moral, ethical, and radical leaders for justice. Not forcing Dr. Thames to accommodate us, rather, I sat in a place of humility, allowing the fullness of her epistemological privilege to be a gift to us. Her presence and message illustrate the impact of creating space for diverse voices and perspectives to be heard and valued.

I know what it means to feel oppressed and unheard; I am determined to grow in what it means to hear and sit with others’ experiences to create a safer and loving environment for all people. Understanding others’ experiences is hard because we cannot fully encompass another’s total experience. Working through the challenge of making time and space for other perspectives is finding the power in inclusivity and what Dr. Patricia Williams calls “sacred listening.” This year's conference was a reminder to remember the importance of supporting the other through complicated times. NOLA allowed us to recommit to our willingness to listen sincerely, set aside assumptions, and limit judgment for the gift of being an organization that is anti-racist and inclusive.

Source of all love, heal us of the injustices we encounter as we reconnect. May our relationship and love for ACPE and our work inspire us to be open and confronted by whom we want to be, reassured by who we are, and motivated by the future.

Alvernia Disnew, ACPE Certified Educator Candidate
UNC Hospitals, Chapel Hill, NC