Transitions

Transitions are unavoidable. How we navigate those transitions, however, is often within our scope of management.

A beloved uncle passed on this week from this life to the next. He was kind, gentle, and more a man of doing than talking, unless you had time with him one-on-one, then he would “talk your ear off”. He loved to be with his large extended family, cared for his two children well, and built a peaceful and generative life with his wife of 60 plus years. After his wife passed on 11 years ago, he carried on the life pattern of investing in people, enjoying connections with grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and staying engaged in his church community.

Faith was an anchor for my uncle through the many life transitions he experienced in his 90-plus years. Personal faith for him would show up in his character and out in his behavior. His character of faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control showed up in an interchange he had with my father, who was experiencing dementia in his later years. “Now, Al, you ought not talk to them that way,” would be his admonishment in his calm, even manner. At this time in my uncle’s life, he was watching his wife decline, along with his older brother and sister-in-law. All three of his loved ones were in the same care facility and my uncle was the most frequent visitor. Loving presence in health and in sickness.

In the last visit with my uncle, he was full of gratitude and curiosity. He openly expressed gratitude for the Lord granting him another day, and for our blessing his day with our visit. He was full of curiosity about our lives, asking about each of my family members in turn. He was glad to talk about his grandkids but very disinterested in talking about his “aging ailments”! It was a delightful, re-fueling experience to visit with my uncle.

These reflections on my uncle remind me that transitions are unavoidable. How we navigate those transitions, however, is often within our scope of management. Living out of the spiritual resources embedded within can set the tone and demeanor while navigating life’s transitions, whether those transitions are from growth, changing circumstances, or inevitable decline toward our final transition. Cultivating those generative spiritual resources of gratitude, curiosity, love, loving presence, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control set a peace-filled foundation for whatever transition we are navigating.

Thanks, Uncle Carl, for your beautiful lesson in life.