Hell, and Held

It is in my body, tingling and unsettling

a tear ready to flow, along with many others.

There’s heaviness in my heart

too much to bear, too much to witness

I grieve, we grieve

loss upon loss

in need of grace upon grace.

I feel it in the air I breathe

like a virus that doesn’t want to be contained;

pain, death, lament, exhaustion

all often wrapped into a single emotion

am I past being edgy?

are we past being edgy?

I bow in prayer…

I can’t but kneel down humbled by the wrath of these hours

not defeated but distressed; edgy nonetheless

hopeless not, for love is still moving near

through caring hands even when in fear

depleted yes, unaware not of love’s resilience,

a beautiful force that keeps moving, while life feels like hell.

Hold me love,

hold us love,

hold us tightly,

we keep going because of you.