A Better Life

In the United States, you and I are more likely to have surgery in the last week of our lives than at any other time in our lives – A time in our lives when we are less likely to see its benefit. At an Institute of Medicine Conference recently, Atul Gawande, MD, MPH, shared this fact and noted that between 1988 and 2010 “the experience of people at the end of life is that they have more pain, more depression, more difficulties and confusion … they are all increased at the end of life without evident benefit.” And so, he says, what we have seen is a 50 year experiment with medicalizing mortality”.

Gawande concludes “that experiment has failed” because it has increased suffering without increasing any of the things we care for.

Cora[1] was a 65-year-old cancer patient I cared for some years ago who I remember mainly for courage and humor, and her unswerving faith. She attended a bi-weekly cancer support group I facilitated in the evenings in the city hospital where I served as chaplain. She joined about 30 others who gathered weekly in an admission waiting room for coffee and conversation. For 90 minutes we turned that waiting room into a living room.

Like some in the group, Cora shared her cancer pain. She would talk prayer, saying “I first have a pity prayer… and let God know about my pain and disappointment”. The group appreciated her honesty. Then Cora would say “I pray for what I am thankful for …and many days the list is short.”

Then Cora would say “my other spiritual routine involves clapping my hands and say to herself “Now, Cora, have a good breakfast just like everyone else on my street”.

One day I was called to Cora – I entered the room and Cora said she had “been healed”. In a few moments she said “Reverend, I got a call from my son who hasn’t talked to me in years – he told me he wanted to make things right, come by and see me with his new wife. This was the prayer, far above cancer remission, that I have prayed for. My prayer was answered – I have been healed where it matters most… in my soul”

Cora would live one more week. But that time allowed her a “better life” than before, maybe because she did not “medicalize” her remaining life. In many ways, what we want for patients are “better lives”. Cora reminded me there are many important ways to measure a better life.

“CARE” is a core skill supported by the Pastoral Care Specialist program where those called can find support, skills and collegiality. Thank you to all who are called to “care”.

Marcus M. McKinney, D.Min., LPC is an ACPE Psychotherapist at Day Kimball Healthcare. He can be reached at marcusmichaelmckinney@gmail.com