Trust the Process

Life is filled with opportunities for adventure, and fraught with expectations that do not always come to fruition. Sometimes our expectations pale in the light of the actual experience. Some of us will remember ACPE’s 2005 Annual Conference in Hawaii. In anticipation of that experience and as a gift to celebrate my recognition as a fully certified ACPE Educator, my husband and I decided to become Certified Scuba Divers to take advantage of the opportunity to dive in a magnificent environment. We grew up watching Jacques Cousteau’s adventurous exploration of the sea on educational TV programs. Although I wanted to dive, I had negative expectations and self-doubts. While I knew I could swim, I did not have confidence in my swimming abilities. So, my expectations included hard work and hard swimming. My expectation proved to be wrong. I imagined I would always hear myself breathing through the regulator. That too was an error. 

It turns out that once in the water, with the correct combination of weights and scuba gear, the goal is to hang in the water at neutral buoyancy, floating but going neither up or down, forward or back. With that skill one need only be perpendicular and expend very little energy to glide through most open water. That was a complete surprise to me. Some of you may know that you can hear creatures before you see them underwater. One time, I was curious about a crunching sound. It was the first time I realized I was not hearing my own breathing. In the water, sounds are diffused, and I couldn’t actually determine the origin or direction of the crunching. Imagine my surprise and wonder when I floated over to a coral head to discover a large sea turtle munching on it. I stopped and watched nature’s process in action. 

Since that first trip, I dove in many places and with many creatures including the Disney Aquarium, Georgia Aquarium, and the Maldives. I learned that Giant Manta Rays love the feel of diver’s bubbles on their bellies as they swim through the ascending air, and Whale Sharks are neither whales nor sharks but the largest cartilaginous fish in the seas. I’ve also learned that fire coral really makes a burn and to avoid even the tiniest of jellyfish sting. Most of all, I relearned to trust the process. My experience of the world under the sea far exceeded my expectations and imagination. 

Almost three years ago, I had a similar experience with dancing. In an offhanded, snarky reply to my husband’s question, “What do you want for your birthday?” I responded, “Dance Lessons.” I fully expected anything but dance lessons. On the first visit to the dance studio, we learned that new students were expected to dance with leading students because, “if you learn to dance with one person you only learn to dance with one person, but if you rotate partners you learn to dance with any person.” When I rotated back to my husband, a Doctor of Nursing Practice and respected expert Industrial Environmental Health and Safety, his eyes were red rimmed and his hands were freezing - true signs of anxiety. I thought in disappointment, “Oh, we’ll never come back.” He surprised me because he wanted to continue to challenge himself and me to learn this new skill. Since that first evening, we have found a diverse and caring community in the dancers and instructors of Studio 22 in Dallas, TX. Again, a negative expectation proven untrue. Just recently we participated in a large, fully vaccinated gathering of swing dancers, and my expectation of never being considered a dancer was proven wrong again. I didn’t place, but I did make finals. So, what does this have to do with ACPE? 

Over the past few weeks, in virtual town halls, online forums, and CoP gatherings, ACPE leaders have tried to communicate the board’s expectation that any joining of ACPE and APC will include a formalized administrative, operational, and governance structure that brings us together, while maintaining the distinctive programs of Certified Educators, Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapists, and Certified Chaplains, all to advance spiritual care. As part of this effort, we retained the expertise of La Piana Consulting, an experienced association and foundation consulting agency assisting organizations navigate change. To date we have completed financial due diligence and found both groups to be in good standing. Our past explorations of such a partnership and engagement with members at town halls and CoP gatherings, led leadership to anticipate that the two groups would be amenable to joining. 

Our original timeline for the merger discussion included a vote to take place this month. The July vote was to ‘check the temperature’ of the two membership groups about the idea. The rationale for the non-binding vote was to hear from the membership before continuing to invest significant resources in our discussions with APC. However, during our legal due diligence, we learned that Illinois State Law does not allow for a preliminary vote prior to a binding vote. Georgia State Law does not have a corresponding statute. Our process demonstrated the differing expectations of the states would alter our plans. So, we revised the process to allow each organization to choose representatives to design a new governance and organizational structure, solicit member feedback, and then present a final version for a member vote. 

This is not a new experience to any of us. We all begin new relationships with student groups, or clients seeking counseling, or chaplains seeking certification. New students, counselees, or chaplains come with varied (and sometimes storied) expectations. Invariably, their expectations are exceeded or changed in some manner as our relationships grow and change over the tenure of our work together. My expectations (and I suspect your expectations as well) change as the program progresses. In each of our venues, we know something new forms and opportunities for growth come to us all. 

Each of us has our own set of expectations for the possibility of our (ACPE and APC) work together. We are still working the process toward a mature partnership and collegial collaboration for the betterment of those following us – Educators, Psychotherapists and Chaplains – in our aim to enrich and perpetuate the discipline of Spiritual Care in the areas we serve. I have hope and positive expectations for what we can do together in coming years, as we work through the process with respectful dialogue, honest questions, and willingness to have our expectations changed.